Silence- a discipline of forgotten worth

I just came back from a three day trip….a getaway of intentional silence.  I haven’t heard what silence sounds like in basically eight years.  (I got married eight years ago and basically had to listen to myself talk non-stop to my husband because I had a secret belief that I had to fill him in on the first 31 years of my life that we spend apart.)  Talk, talk, talk.

And then, I had four children.  Now the continual volume in my home is like standing in Time’s Square.  Not only that, but any perceived moments of silence, such as nap time, is immediately filled with me making phone calls, reading emails, texting, or my favorite, listening to audiobooks.

When God and my dear family gave me the opportunity to get away by myself for three days….I was ecstatic!

I was completely in heaven for the first 24 hours and then something new took place….discipline.  I actually had to use will power to avoid snapping on the TV the moment I got back to my hotel room.  Yes, silence got old after exactly 24 hours and five minutes away from my family.  I had to use inner strength to website stay off Facebook.  I had to choose not to text all my friends, read my email, the news, my kindle books and audiobooks.  It wasn’t easy.

I learned big gentle lessons in the silence.  I realized I put learning (all I could from the world) before listening.  It’s so east to ask people what they think or read blogs or text my friends for immediate answers.  I is so easy I realized I was putting my first source of wisdom last.  I can’t text God.  I fire off questions but He doesn’t immediately respond.  Often, I have to wait, be quiet and listen.  I’m not good at those things.

I the quiet I reconnected.  I prayed, I talked with God and I did a lot of listening and sitting still in silence.

In the silence, I heard a lot of things.  Quiet little whispers.

Now, I’m back home in the fray but determine to figure out how to build silence, sitting still and listening back into my life.  I need it.  Yes, I need it more than I even know.



No Hope in Sight

How does a mother find hope when her son is so handicapped, she knows he will never go to college or ever leave home?  When she knows she will be caring for him and watching over him for the rest of her days. And what happens when she is gone?  Who will take care of her baby then?
Where is hope for the young mom who becomes a quadriplegic through a car accident and can no longer hold her young children. When she has no chance of ever walking again, where is her hope?
Is there hope for the mother who lost her first-born child at the innocent age of 7?  When she can hardly breath in the vice of grief, can she even hope for purpose or joy in the years ahead? Is there hope for life in this sorrow?
Is there hope for the hopeless?  Can one find peace and purpose in life when there is no circumstantial hope of healing?  Can one find meaning in life knowing their desires will never be fulfilled?
The hope is that Jesus will walk with them and give them strength to face each day. The hope is that Jesus loves them and knows everything they are going through. The hope is that their hearts can be held and mended.  The hope is that there is still a purpose in life. The hope is, that one day there will be heaven and all the brokenness and pain will be forever gone.
These are all real people in my life.  I have watched them show me what hope looks like.  I learn so much from them.  They are my heroes, living a life that could seem hopeless, yet they have gained wisdom, depth and ride with great hope into the life they have been dealt.