I just came back from a three day trip….a getaway of intentional silence. I haven’t heard what silence sounds like in basically eight years. (I got married eight years ago and basically had to listen to myself talk non-stop to my husband because I had a secret belief that I had to fill him in on the first 31 years of my life that we spend apart.) Talk, talk, talk.
And then, I had four children. Now the continual volume in my home is like standing in Time’s Square. Not only that, but any perceived moments of silence, such as nap time, is immediately filled with me making phone calls, reading emails, texting, or my favorite, listening to audiobooks.
When God and my dear family gave me the opportunity to get away by myself for three days….I was ecstatic!
I was completely in heaven for the first 24 hours and then something new took place….discipline. I actually had to use will power to avoid snapping on the TV the moment I got back to my hotel room. Yes, silence got old after exactly 24 hours and five minutes away from my family. I had to use inner strength to website stay off Facebook. I had to choose not to text all my friends, read my email, the news, my kindle books and audiobooks. It wasn’t easy.
I learned big gentle lessons in the silence. I realized I put learning (all I could from the world) before listening. It’s so east to ask people what they think or read blogs or text my friends for immediate answers. I is so easy I realized I was putting my first source of wisdom last. I can’t text God. I fire off questions but He doesn’t immediately respond. Often, I have to wait, be quiet and listen. I’m not good at those things.
I the quiet I reconnected. I prayed, I talked with God and I did a lot of listening and sitting still in silence.
In the silence, I heard a lot of things. Quiet little whispers.
Now, I’m back home in the fray but determine to figure out how to build silence, sitting still and listening back into my life. I need it. Yes, I need it more than I even know.